Bitter Thoughts
by Dalea
Summary: He could have had almost any girl in Hogwarts. Why did it have to be Cho? [Oneshot] For Cheeky Slytherin Lass & the Great Easter Egg Hunt Competition at HPFC


**Disclaimer:** I don't own the HP universe. I don't make money writing fanfiction.

 **Pairing:** (Unrequited) Marietta/Cho.

 **A/N:** Marietta-centric. Dark themes. Monologue. Obsessive thinking. Hints at demi-romantic Marietta. (Hints at) femslash. (At least in so far as a female being in love with another female; nothing actually _happens_ whatsoever, though). One-shot; complete. Written for Cheeky Slytherin Lass's Great Easter Egg Hunt Competition at HPFC.

* * *

She was my best friend at Hogwarts. My only real friend, the only one I dared let close. The only one whose kind touch didn't raise my hackles.

Then came Cedric.

 _He could have had almost any girl in Hogwarts._

And she listened to him. He asked her out to the ball and she agreed. Suddenly she had less time for me. Oh, she tried, but with the OWLs on one hand and Cedric competing in the Triwizard tournament on the other...what little time we did have to spend together was spent studying, worrying about Cedric and the tournament or talking about how amazing Cedric was. About how lucky she was, because he could have had any girl in Hogwarts and yet chose her.

 _He_ _ **could**_ _have had almost any girl in Hogwarts. Why did it have to be Cho?_

I started to hate him. Cedric this, Cedric that. Still, I kept quiet and listened, helped her in and out of the common room after curfew so she could spend time with him. She was happy and although even our time together became more about him than us, I let her be. If I could not be happy myself, then let my only friend at least be. Let her be happy in my stead.

Even if it meant 'Let Cedric be happy in my stead'. And if I cursed his name in the depths of my heart, who had to know?

 _He took her from me. He could have had almost any girl in Hogwarts. Why did it have to be Cho?_

And for a while she _was_ happy, and I was starting to make peace with the thought. No matter how little time we had together right now, I knew she was still my friend. Next year this stupid tournament would be gone and the OWLs would be over with. Cedric would graduate. Perhaps they'd break up, perhaps not, I didn't know. But no matter what, we'd have more time together again.

Then he died and she was heartbroken. Irrational as it might be, I hated him even more for that.

 _He took her from me and broke her. He could have had almost any girl in Hogwarts. Why did it have to be Cho?_

She knew Avada Kedavra to be a fast and painless death, but part of her mind seemed to be unable to grasp that. She had nightmares in which she imagined the way he died, more and more gruesome with each one. I comforted her after those, and it left a sour and twisted taste on my tongue. Even our hugs became tainted by the shadow of Cedric's death.

 _He took her from me and broke her. Turned our touches sour. He could have had almost any girl in Hogwarts. Why did it have to be Cho?_

Through the grapevine at Hogwarts, I heard that it was _Potter_ that had convinced Cedric to grasp the cup together. While I knew it had been meant selflessly, I hated him for that, almost as much as I hated Cedric for dying. And even as Cho sobbed at night, waking up from yet another nightmare, repeating nothing but 'why?!', I held her close and hugged her, but never told her what I had learnt. It would only upset her and she had been hurt enough.

 _He took her from me and broke her. Turned our touches sour and the silence bitter. He could have had almost any girl in Hogwarts. Why did it have to be Cho?_

When Cho told me how Potter had approached her for the ball last year, how she would have gone with him if not for Cedric already having asked her-for this had happened before Cedric became the centre of her world, _became her world_ -I kept silent but could not help but think how wrong it all was.

 _He took her from me and broke her. Turned our touches sour and the silence bitter. He could have had almost any girl in Hogwarts. Why did it have to be Cho? Why?!_

Then came Potter.

And she listened to him. Followed Potter around like he was some hero, some saviour, not the one that caused Cedric's death and broke her. Sneaking out after curfew to see Cedric became sneaking around to have Potter teach her. Us. Because I would not let her leave me behind again.

But even following her around did not help; I failed to save her from falling into his web. I suppose Potter and I have one thing in common, at least-neither of us can save those around us in time. By the end of November, she confided in me she felt conflicted. That part of her was falling in love with Potter even as another part was screaming at her how wrong it was.

 _They took her from me and broke her, again and again. Turned our touches sour and the silence bitter. He could have had almost any girl in Hogwarts. Why did it have to be Cho? Why?!_

I could not help but agree-it was wrong. More than she knew. She was not merely attracted to someone again. No, it had to be Potter the Not-Quite-Saviour. Potter the Boy-Who-Lived-In-Cedric's-Stead. Potter, the boy who had, unwittingly and unwillingly as it may have been, played a key role in Cedric's death. I hated him yet more than I hated Cedric.

At least Cedric had died before breaking her.

 _...They took her from me and broke her, again and again. Turned our touches sour and the silence bitter. He could have had almost any girl in Hogwarts. Why did it have to be the only one I ever loved?_


End file.
